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 WELCOME TO MY VIDEO GAME DIARY 
Greetings, traveller! You've found your way to my video game diary!
But BEWARE the thoughts contained within are likely BORING or CRINGE, or some unholy mixture of the two! This is simply a space for me to parse out my feelings about the games I love and the games I don't.
NEWEST ENTRY
1/4/24- Regarding Baldur's Gate 3 - AGAIN
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Regarding Baldur's Gate 3 - AGAIN - Jan. 10th, 2024
Ok, I calmed down Baldur's Gate 3 is my best friend.
I've tried to start about 5 different games but nothing can hold my attention. So I might as well just start a new BG3 game or 2 or 3. I'm feeling very impatient these days with games and download/install times and tutorials. I don't know if I'm just in a malaise or if this is just how I engage with games now. I bought Mario Wonder and have been playing it in bits and pieces. I used to be able to devour a platformer but I like everything else just not that entertained by it. I am certainly regretting the $60 I spent on it.
Regarding Baldur's Gate 3 - Jan. 4th, 2024
Folks I love, love, love RPGs. It's likely my favorite genre. Naturally, the itch to play Baldur's Gate 3 kicked in when I saw the buzz about it online. After starting 3 different games I've finally one up to the end-game and I just do not want to see it through because I just don't really care. But I think this is a me problem and not a problem with the game but the story and many of the characters have just left me cold. Maybe something in my head has shifted and I just can’t enjoy games in the same way I used to. But the arch and certain aspects of BG3’s story just drive me up the wall!
Before I start complaining: I think Baldur’s Gate 3 is incredible. I actually love the combat. The way the incorporated DND mechanics in dialogue and quests is amazing. I am amazed at how thorough and detailed this game is (you know I was casting "speak with animals" and talking to every single rat and cat in the game). That being said... I need to complain about the story.
Mindflayers, illithids, gaiks, tadpoles, I absolutely hate this story. The expierence is similar to my hatred for the synth plot in Fallout 4. I dislike and refuse to play nice with what is the entire crux of the game's story. I just can't stand it. Doesn't help my final character romanced Wyll. I adore him but his romance content feels such an after thought. My poor little bard is saddest girl in Faerun, her boyfriend hardly speaks to her and now she has to lead a fight she wanted nothing to do with.
But the more I’ve thought about it my reaction to this story is related to a larger concept of how fiction is being written these days. It feels like stories go from 0 to 60 these days, more than usual. We arrive at ”the world is ending and only you can stop it!” extremely quick. and to be honest, I kinda hate it. I want time to fuck around in my RPGs, but I don't want to do that fucking around with narrative pressure bearing down on me. One word, WOOF!
The more I ruminate on all this I keep coming back to a game that did this same hero’s journey, save the world, stuff incredibly well– Neopets the Darkest Faerie. That’s a joke (but not entirely). I actually mean Dragon Age Origins. DA:O is one of my favorite RPGs of all time. I was comparing BG3 to DA:O from the second I started playing it and I think I’ve finally come to a conclusion about why BG3 irks me and DA:O doesn’t. I don’t feel like I’ve actually earned anything while playing BG3.
The only thing I feel I truly earned in BG3 were my levels. Strategizing combat is extremely fun (it has a leg up on DA:O there). But I'm at a high enough level now where no combat feels particularly challenging. Several party members made romantic and sexual advances towards my PC completely unprompted. The majority of the narrative feels as if it is just handed to my PC. I feel like my little bard is just perpetually confused as to why any of these people trust her to make their life decisions for them. She’s just a normal bard!
Meanwhile, I feel Dragon Age: Origins does an incredible job and makes the player feel like they’ve earned their narrative. You may be a random person thrown into this circumstance but conscripted to do a job and things just got very hard. The game truly makes me feel like I’m starting with nothing. You have two friends and a dog– go forth and build a network of allies. Romantic relationships have to be earned, your companion isn’t just randomly going to come on to you without provocation.
Sigh. I could go on but oh well. Origins has problems, it's age being the most glaring one, but I'll always love it I guess.