I JUST WANT TO SMELL NICE
ALL i want is a perfume that fucking lasts. I just want to be someone who like actively smells good. But every fucking perfume and oil I buy just dissipates instantly. I bought a damn ScentBird sub because I thought if I could get my hands on some expensive perfumes it would be strong enough to last but these the scent on the two perfumes I got vanishes faster than my Love's Babysoft!!!!
Maybe I need to start buying eau de parfums???? But the times I bought straight up oils they still didn't last very long. I just feel like my skin sucks up everything I put on it. I'm going to try the aquaphor and vaseline tricks and see what happens -_-
IT'S BEEN AWHILE (AGAIN)It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an update. AND I BROKE THIS DAMN PAGE. I'm still trying to figure out how I broke it but it. So for the time being older entires are trapped in the shadow dimenson.
Anyway... Not much to tell to be honest but here’s what I’ve been playing:
On the topic of Stardew Valley clones: I’ve been musing about making my own game. It’s a vicious cycle for me where twice a year I do a ton of research and put a lot of work into pre-production for a game and then it kinda fizzles out. I have sketchbooks and folders filled with character designs, notes, and maps. I just always get waylaid by life, school and work and my conviction to see it through fades away. Last summer I did tons of research into the Godot engine. I even started learning Python because A) Work was super slow, and B) I had a whole concept for a Stardew Valley-type game.
My original concept was a Stardew Valley type life sim where the player would take on the role of superintendent of an apartment building. Gameplay would be focused around making improvements to the building and improving the lives of the tenants. It would take place in a modern fantasy world kinda like Stardew. I had plans for the basement to have some kind of crazy portal where you’d fight monsters. But at the end of the day I couldn’t quite figure out how to make navigating an apartment building enjoyable (secret passages?).
Then I adapted that idea into the more traditional town-based setting. Still a modern fantasy but the world would be populated with races of “monster” people– I had NPCs planned out that were demons, cyclops, witches, undead, etc.. I wrote out a storyline for the town that involved curses and generational trauma. I made a bunch of tile sheets and had a very detailed map layout planned out. But now I’m thinking of taking that and adapting in another direction.
Part of the reason I did gel with Coral Reef immediately was that it felt very modern. I think Stardew struck a very good tone by creating a world that is part fantasy-part 90s/2000s. We don’t see any “modern” technology so it feels kind of timeless. So now I’m thinking in terms of creating a medieval-fantasy Stardew. I think there are tons of places it could go. With my other concepts I was really trying to cut out the farming aspect altogether. But that means figuring out a different gameplay loop altogether. I think changing the setting to a medieval fantasy shakes things up enough that I feel okay with featuring farming. But I’m still musing on ways that a ‘career’ system could be instituted (beyond what Stardew has done already).
Anyway that’s what I’ve been musing about lately.
ON IT AGAINFebruary 22nd, 2024
Just musing thoughts. I have to get all my Baldur's Gate ramblings out here so that my boyfriend doesn't have to hear them.
So in BG3 I'm in Act 3 of my Evil Durge run. My team is made up solely of Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and my beloved Minthara-- everyone else is dead. Since this is my evil playthrough I took Shart down the Dark Justicar path and let me say: I am underwhelmed. I've seen people who are mad that she's preachy and hypocritical to Durge. I'm not made she's a zealot that I was expecting, I'm made that she still seems like a really bad Shar worshipper. Like we're supposed to buy that she's Shar's chosen yet her returning and taking over the temple feels so weak. She walks around and talks like a child, even her "I'm Shar's child" speech is weak. Like where's the woman who will straight up murder Lae'Zel in front of you? She just seems so soft when she should be hardened. Also when you tell her you're a Bhaalspawn and she's like "Well Shar CHOSE me and that's more special". Girlie, I will replace you with a hireling I don't care..
Well, on to the orginal Baldur's Gate. I'm making very slow progress, mostly because I'm only playing in slow moments where I can. But the one thing I will say is that I really like Kahlid. And really that sucks since I know what happens to him. I didn't know much about his personality but when I clicked on him he's this fighter guy who's stuttering like he's totally freaked out I was in love.
iT'S BEEN A WHILEAnother hot minute since I updated the game diary. We’re still plugging away at Baldur’s Gate 3 because I will always go with what’s familiar and I just really love the combat. I spent some time with DOS2 figuring it out but I’m just so resistant to learning new fantasy worlds– my issue not the game’s. Also, I kinda went murder hobo on all the guards at Fort Joy and I feel like I screwed up somehow…haha….
I recently picked up a Samsung Tablet after yearning for one for several years. Originally I just wanted one for drawing purposes– the illusion that if I could take it anywhere I’d practice more (just use paper, dumbass). I was then considering buying a kindle but I told myself that a tablet had more functionality. But, anyway we’re EMULATING. Any device I have that can emulate consoles I have rigged to emulate consoles. But the tablet may just be my favorite thus far. I picked up another DS5 controller for my birthday and it's a dream being able to play Playstation games on the go. And now I find out that Redream is avaliable on Android and I'm sooo pumped to play Dreamcast wherever I want!
On top of all that, I also found out that Baldur's Gate 1, 2, and Icewind Dale and Planescape torment are on the Play store. So now I own the Baldur's Gates on PC, Switch, and the Play store. BG is very easy to play in situations where I likely should not be playing games..uhh if you get what I mean...... CRPGs from that time, well not just CRPGs Adventure games have it too, have such a glib humor that you just don't see from video games today. The most recent example I can think of is New Vegas's Wild Wasteland but even that is an emulation of the humor and easter eggs from Fallout 1 & 2. I'll report back when I have more thoughts.
HEY I'M BACKWell it’s been a minute since I updated. I had a horrifying experience going through a job interview and I went into a total anxiety, terror spiral at the thought of getting the job. But I got the rejection letter today so we can relax. I kinda felt obligated to apply for reasons we don’t need to get into. Baseline is, I do not think I’m ready to be a full fledged librarian at the busiest branch in my local system. Also, I absolutely SUCK at interviews. One of the worst who ever lived.
My interest in my hobbies is coming back around. I spent some time animating walking sprites for two of my little characters and I’m gonna kick them around in Adventure Game Studio. On reflection 8 frames may have been a bit ambitious but oh well. My interest in my doll collection has kicked back up. I bought some Posca markers and I’m excited to play with them. I’ve been playing Stardew Valley again though I can feel my interest waning a bit as I’m dramatically close to finishing the Community Center and it’s only Fall Y1.
In general I’m feeling inspired to make art. I’ve been trying to kick my horrible fear of making “bad” art and just enjoy the process. I think part of that is going to take the form of actually posting art on this website. So stay tuned..?
IT'S WHATEVER PMIt's a hot second since I updated the game diary. There's not much to report. I'm coming up on 300 hours in Baldur's Gate 3 and yeah I'm still having fun. Parts of it are starting to feel like a slog though so my enthusiasm may be waning. My current playthrough is to perfect my run for my "canon" Tav, Siobahn- Wood Half-Elf, Bard, Wyll romance (such as it is). I guess I could say one of my cannon Tavs since I 'm still attached to my high-elf monk. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next. I started a duergar Tav and she's super cute and the duergar race abilites are CHOICE but I don't know if I could get into her from a RP standpoint. I still haven't gotten a Durge past act 2. The stuff I really want to see with Durge is in act 3 but I run out of stamina before I can get there!
Anyway, I fell out of love with Neopets for a bit but I'm back into it. I'm (trying) to plan out new pets and I wasted 4 mil points the other night but I'm having some fun. I'm a bit paranoid because I do play mostly at work when things are slow on the campus wide wi-fi and with all the issues with players being frozen for using VPNs and mobile data it's scary out here. If my account was frozen and I lost all my pets and all the damn NC items I have I would be inconsolable and then I'd be PISSED. But I'm still playing. For now.
In other hobby news: I'm feeling a spark to start making dolls again. If only to make dolls of my PCs from Baldur's Gate.
IT'S 11:39 PMIt's 11:39 PM and I'm at work trying to distract myself instead of mentally cursing the people still in the building- this will make the time go by faster. I have a few thoughts about video games after a long, weirdly busy, night of being the only staff member in the buliding. I have an intense desire to turn this into just an all purpose diary but I ultimately think it's best for this to remain under the general header of video games. Lest the world be exposed to more of my deranged thoughts such as a .jpeg screen cap of a Kids in the Hall episode with the caption "Bruce looks so c*** here."
Even though I've currently logged 222 hours in Baldur's Gate 3, and I intend to log more, I still got complaints. I have a bachelor's degree in English you know I'm writing media criticism in my head. I keep coming around to my breaking point which is, I want a RPG with all the Bioware, Baldur's Gate, Fallout, fun but without an even pressing and urgent plot. No tadpole in my head, no imminent world destroying monster, and if there is let's build up to it. I want something akin to the start of nearly every Pokemon game "All girls dream of adventure! It said so on the television!". Just a person going out, learning, exploring, then stumbling on the life changing quest. Give me Neopets the Darkest Faerie.
I think Dragon Age Origins did a good of giving you a big bad evil that you have to stop but was kept at enough of an arm's reach that it never felt too oppresive. I've been slowly dipping my toes back into the Dragon Age "fandom", though I shudder at such a thing. I've been inundated with posts about how Origins is the worst game in the series or that DA2 is the best... While I categorically disagree with both statements I think people tend to prefer DA2's "smaller" storyline to the overwhelming nature of Inquistion. Which I would say I also prefer the smaller story. But nothing will ever beat Origins. Origins just feels so throughly orignal and ambitious. It's similar to how I feel about VTM: Bloodlines. And with the development hell that both series' sequals have been in I doubt we'll be seeing a game quite like them any time soon.
As some final thoughts; I've wanted for a while to make a page for the site with all my little roleplaying game characters and/or OCs (which are just spin-offs of my RPG characters). I wanted to wait till I could produce some decent artwork of them (or comission some more than decent artwork). Maybe I'll get around to doing that one day soon. Or maybe I'll extend a bunch of effort making a Kids in the Hall e-shrine when I should be working on my grad school portfolio....
UCS ARE HEREWell Neopets released the Styling Studio and the new UCs.
LOOK UPON HIM AND WEEP!!!!!!
REMEMBER MMORPGS?I’m currently feeling a deep nostalgia for MMOs and MMORPGs circa 2000-2010. During that time I played every single MMORPG that offered free play or a trial period. I was just desperate for new video games. I covered most of the ones targeted towards the youth like Pirates of the Caribbean Online, FreeRealms, Wizard 101, ToonTown, and my beloved FUSIONFALL. I hold nothing but MALICE and SCORN for the person who nuked FusionFall Retro and Legacy. I hope karma tears them a new asshole.
My malice and scorn aside… I never played Runescape or WOW but was in proximity to them enough to still kick up nostalgia. Classic WOW and Wizard 101 (which I know is still around) have visual aesthetics that drive me wild. I want to lick Wizard 101. In my heart of hearts I know I can’t pick up a MMORPG these days because I’m reclusive by nature and the concept of voice chats with strangers makes me want to vomit. And playing an MMO as a solo player tends to defeat the purpose, doesn’t it?
I’ll just keep toiling away quietly on Neopets.
STUCK AT WORK SO HERE'S SOME THOUGHTSAt work, on a Sunday, nothing is happening right now and I'm all twisted up about an e-mail so might as well write some cringe worthy dribble. Unsurprising, but I'm still playing BG3. I'm approaching the 200 hour mark. I guess I'm doing my best to get my money's worth out of it. Despite all my grandiose claims that I'm going to play X, Y, and Z when I'm "done" with BG3 I'll probably just circle around to playing Dragon Age: Origins for the 8th time. Despite how many time I've played DA:O I have little to no experience with the DLCs- with the exceptions of Warden's Keep and Return to Ostgar. I also only played Awakening through once and my memories are spotty at best. It sucks that I can't import my world state into Awakening and create a new Orleisan warden.
It may not fit the "video game" criteria exactly but let's talk Neopets for a sec. I took a hiatus from Neo for a bit back in December. I had some nice time off and when I'm home these days I can't be bothered to log on. I had also been seeing some horror stories of accounts frozen without provocation which scared me a bit. I had ALSO gotten the brush off from TNT about my multiple support tickets for the missing User Lookup Trophy they STILL owe me. So I took down my NC trade lists and took a break- while still popping for the advent calender ofc.
Well, I'm back and playing a bit. I'm not really doing my dailies, quests, or Food Club. I can't even be bothered to do Trudy. But what I am doing is poking around my accounts, making decisions about what pets I'm willing to let go of. I've also been fussing around on DTI trying to plan customs I want to pursue. I like to make conceptual customs that turn a pet into a "character". My customs aren't exactly the best but I have some I've very attached to. Currently, I'm trying to come up with a new custom for my pet ForeverConscious that fits the theme of dead/undead- I'm not vibing with her current Hallowen/Zombie Techo cross-paint anymore. I have an idea for a Ghost Krawk but it requires a bit of trading. I also found myself in possession of a Plushie Draik. I've been trying to come up with a medievil, fantasy, Meridell, style custom for him. I've wanted to have a "NeoQuest" themed pet for quite awhile. But, it's turning out to be more difficult than anticipated.
Valentines Day is coming up again which is one time of year that I let myself splurge on NC items since I am, at heart, a LoveCore girlie. Also: I had NO CLUE that Mouth Be Gone and Expression Caps were in the NC mall. If I hadn't seen a post on r/Neopets about it I would still be living in a world where no one would trade me a Mouth-Be-Gone. Well, now I have like 7 Mouth-Be-Gones- probably should have bought some expression caps first and seen how it shook out. But, FINALLY, my Gamer-Girl Alien Aisha has a :3 mouth.
MORE BALDUR'S GATE
Well, it took some time but BG3 is occupying my mind like nothing else. I finished up my latest Tav run. Saoirse is my female high elf, monk, subclass rogue, good two-shoes with a Gale romance. Her color scheme was pink so I dyed all her apparel with either Pale Pink dye or Rose and Custard dye. I really enjoyed playing as a monk. Monk-centric clothes have excellent buffs and stat increases. I was doing more than 20 damage per punch with tons of bonus actions. Disarming strikes and heat metal used to make me suppper mad by knocking my weapon out of my hands but they don't do anything if your weapon IS YOUR HANDS!
I'm a lot of happier with Gale's romance than I thought I would be. Like many people I was bit put off by the whole Mystra thing but I'm glad to have stuck with it. My Tav is very happy to be in Waterdeep and married to Gale. She deserves some rest and a tressym friend.
I've moved on to my first Dark Urge run. She's a cute little Mephistopheles Tiefling named Freya. She's also a Paladin with an Oath of Devoation- just to make things even harder on myself as a Resist Durge. I chose Paladin for the roleplaying effect- my idea being that the memory wipe caused her to "reset" to an earlier stage in her life when she was resisting Daddy Baahl's influence (but ultimately failed ofc). I haven't gotten very far yet- haven't even hit my first long rest (I did read some spoilers because Alfira must be protected at all costs). I'm not loving Paladin gameplay at the moment- though it's still early on. If I can't gel with it I may respec to Monk again for my own enjoyment though I kinda want to save the "tearing people apart with her hands" idea for my Evil Durge.
And because I am me (and we are us) I can't NOT have a romance when a game has romance options. The only game I do that with is Dragon Age Origins because I have delusions about my Warden hooking up with Loghain. I've entered Durge with the intention to romance Astarion but then I picked him from the crash site and wavered. I know he's THE lothario the girlies love but he's still not doing much for me even with max approval on other playthroughs. I heard he's really into the Durge both evil and resisting but.........
I think I'm going to go with Lae'zel this time around- after rejecting her over and over in my other playthroughs. Two people created for the purpose of violence having to unlearn it- and I read about that one ADORABLE ending you can get with her. I'll save Astarion for my Evil Durge run, we'll do the black mass and everything.
Oh and to round out my complaining about The Emperor. I killed him, again. He went down incredibly easy, again. In fact he died by an attack of opportunity, my Tav punched in him the back when he went to move away. Squidman talks a big game then he and his little dream people go down INCREDIBLY easy.
BACK AT IT AGAIN AT EMERALD GROVE...New games diary- NEW THOUGHTS ABOUT BALDUR'S GATE 3! ---I've really warmed up to it. Turns out I really love playing as a monk. And Gale's romance is hitting the right notes for me in a way that the other characters haven't. Also, I finally found the Owl Bear Cub --which is worth a whole new playthrough in and of himself. That owl bear and his 3 lines of dialogue are the most important thing in this game. My boyfriend named the cub Obie. If anything ever happens to him I'll kill the entire party and then my Tav. F***ing GAME OVER.
On another note, I litearlly HATE The Emperor so much. He pisses me off so much. Like, who's this son of a bitch in my head chastising and lecturing me for making choices he doesn't approve of? Is he watching me every second of every day? Then he fails to see why that's invasive. Sees no problem with pushing people into becoming mindflayers. This guy SUCKS! I hate that the game forces you to be stuck with him for so long.
I finally learned about the "Dark Urge" origin. I though it was just some weird quirk that you could attach to a character to make the game more difficult but turns out it's a entirely new way to experience the game. I'm excited to try it. I'm saving Astarian for that playthrough- I never went crazy over him like the other girlies did but sounds like he's a good option for a dURGE. BUT, I'm going to hold off for a while after I finish this current playthrough. I don't want to make myself too sick of running around the same environs. I'm going to move on and give Divinity Original Sin 2. If that goes well I'll skip back over for new rounds of BG1 and 2. I'm just excited to play a game with a jester subclass/tag again. You can't keep my silly bards down!